Today was the day I was supposed to fly to Arizona with my sister. I was going there to surprise my mom and I was really looking forward to watching her pee her pants when she saw me. Isn’t surprising somebody with your presence such a fun, narcissistic thing to do? I guess the cancellation of my trip gives quarantine a victory today. Yesterday, I overcame the darkness by crawling out of bed and out from under the negativity cloud that formed over me. I guess that brings us to an even tie 1-1.
Since I am not one to sit in self pity, I took it upon myself to create my own sort of Arizona day inside this cold, MN home. I took a long, hot steamy shower in my swimsuit to mimic the poolside days I’ll be missing. I made street corn to satisfy my mourning taste buds. I even ordered a new release movie that I likely would have enjoyed on my three hour long Delta flight. I watched it on my old iPod, fully dressed in civilian clothes, headphones in, on a dining room chair to guarantee I wouldn’t get too comfortable just like the airplane. I even went as far as closing my little eyes when I reached up to the hanging basket in my kitchen, so that I could imagine instead that I was picking that perfectly ripe lemon from my mom’s backyard Lemon Tree.
As discovered yesterday, worry may be a waste of the imagination, but is using it to blatantly disregard your geographical location in order to find yourself 1,577 miles south? I don’t think so!
IN THE NEWS
I’ve been told that yesterday there were no new cases of the virus in China- which feels equivalent to finding gold. According to the Wall Street Journal, there are now more than 11,000 cases in the U.S. and it is steadily growing. More people have officially passed from the virus in Italy than in China. I saw that a clinic in London was asking for volunteers to willingly get the virus (under their care and paid generously) to help find a vaccine. I found that to be quite an interesting think piece.
Unfortunately, there seems to be a lot of discrepancy with how people are handling the entire situation. I’ve seen photos of beaches filled with spring breakers and I heard on the morning news that various counties in California are on lock-down. I just have an eerie feeling that things are going to get worse before they get better. It has all made me realize that I would rather err on the side of safety. Maybe we are being too precautious and maybe these measures are too drastic, who’s to say? I am willing to be wrong about it all, and will gladly admit to that when it’s all said and done. But in the meantime, I’m finding that staying home is worthwhile to slow the spread. So here I am Day 2, going strong!
HIGHLIGHTS
Earlier, I was watching “Spencer Confidential” on Netflix. My dad came into the house, caught a glimpse of the movie and says, “Oh, Mark Walbrand is in this movie!?” So close pops, so close.
Another nice 3 mile treadmill walk, this time along the coastline in Hawaii.
Today I read the book You^2 by Price Pritchett. It’s a 38 page book, so it’s a less big deal than it seems. Price really encourages thinking outside of the box about the type of life you want to lead- rather than thinking about how you can progress through it incrementally. Here’s a quote I liked from the book,
“Most people confuse wishing and wanting with pursuing. Their desire for a dream may be desperate and deep. But when that desire fails to produce, they conclude the dream cannot be theirs. Actually, the only proof they have is that the longing is not enough. The data at hand merely prove that desire alone does not- cannot- deliver.
Pursuit is what makes the difference. Reaching for what you want alters the odds immediately, and drastically, of getting it. ‘What you want’ becomes part of a dynamic exchange, with the world and you in partnership.”
I also dove deep into some literature by my girl Joan Didion. I love how she writes plainly and how you can almost hear her talk when you read. I’ve decided to really spend time with her writing over the next while. Consider it my own little Taylor writing case study.
My dad at age 55 is learning to play the guitar and it brings me such delight to hear him play “Hot Cross Buns” on repeat. Maybe tomorrow I’ll learn piano…
I spent some time today looking through photos of more peaceful times and places. It was a nice consolation prize for my aforementioned loss. I always end up staring into the eyes of those Lake Vermilion sunset photos. My happy place.
See what I mean?
It’s hard to not talk about the virus with everybody you connect with. In that way, it’s all-consuming; it’s on everybody’s minds and it’s something we are all dealing with. Perhaps this is why I’m finding staying home to be easier, because when I’m here alone I get to control what I come into contact with. I get to choose to look beyond the virus and have fun with my imagination. I get to dive deep into books and movies. I have found a friendship with my journal again and I’m writing love letters! It’s like I’ve created this little bubble where no bad news can get me. What a beautiful thing that we all have the ability to do, we just have to remember how.
Today I’ll leave you with a poem by my favorite Shel Silverstein that seems to resonate with me and my bubble:
A page from Shel Silverstein’s “Falling Up”