I have been starting to piece together an advice post for my peers. I am thinking more seriously about what I have to offer at this stage in life. It might not be much, but I am comfortable with that. Based on my experiences and the information I have been collecting, I have formulated a brief list of 'things' to gift to you. Hopefully they, at the very least, can provide you with some insight on life and growth and happiness because that is what these clarities have given me.
1. We are so young.
I'm sure you have heard this before and it is true. Hypothetically speaking, we have a lot of time left to do the things we were destined to do. While being young with your mind, agility, and perspective, do the things you have always desired to do. I mean this fantastically: explore, create, do those things you can only imagine accomplishing. I too mean get started on your 'life-long' goals. You know, those things that you are saying to yourself that 'when you're older' you'll do. Because, well, if you want to achieve them, what are you waiting for? What if your time is cut short? Chances are, these goals take time and if you're serious about them, it is important to start thinking and acting towards them now.
Think critically about your time and be deliberate with it.
2. Know thyself.
This is the oldest trick in the book. Only in knowing oneself, will you be able to reach your eulerian destiny. Know your strengths and build on them. Identify what works well with your psyche- you are unique to this world. When put in situations: careers, relationships, living set-ups, etc. that don't mesh well with you, you could be setting yourself up for failure. Don't waste your time with distress. Be aware, and again, be deliberate in your life situations. Avoid the anxiety-filled nights, petty fights, or, at worst, failure for no reason with no purpose. Reflect on where you're at and what your body and mind are telling you is right, and then, listen.
You are in control.
3. Good things take time.
Unfortunately, we grow up with a made-up ideal implanted in our minds: that we are deserving of and will be given greatness. We shall go to college to land our dream job. We can conquer the world. The perfect man is out there somewhere. I guess I missed the infrequent messages of how hard it would be, and too, how much time it actually takes to achieve greatness in all of the aforementioned arenas of life. The often hard to believe truth is that it takes 10,000 hours to be a master of something. People are not given success, it is earned. It just might take months or years to work your way up to a job that is 'perfect' for you or to find your partner. Don't be discouraged. With hard work, perseverance, focus, and determination, you can conquer your world (this is true).
Put in the hours for what you believe and crave in life; it will pay off.
4. Quit comparisons and perfectionism.
Due to the period of time we grew up in and the rise of social media, we live a life full of constant comparisons. We are bred to post our 'most daring adventures,' in our 'perfect' relationships, with 'trendy' clothes, and 'genuine' smiles (meanwhile, we cannot portray that we are 'trying too hard'). Never show weakness or shortfalls. Right when we feel confident and in the right place, we are confronted with a picture or post that would indicate that others are doing much better than us in this so-called life. Well, here's the deal: there may always be somebody who is doing bigger and better things than you, and there's nothing wrong with that. It does not make you less human or any less deserving of happiness. It is critical that you shed this comparative nature that is so ingrained in you. To be honest, I'm not sure where this need to be perfect came from. I ponder this often and even with awareness of it, I still feel it creep into my life. Perhaps it is the media and the magazines and the reality television shows and the public shaming of others- but please, I beg you, try to move beyond it. I don't know our purpose here, but I do know that perfectionism is not it. Get comfortable in your skin because it's the only one you'll ever have.
You are enough.
5. Reduce "present bias."
What is present bias you may ask? It is our human nature to focus on survival in the immediate future because, in evolutionary terms, that was our only option. Only in recent times, have we gained the luxury of envisioning a future and realistically expecting it to materialize. Consequently, it is relatively easy to replace our concerns for health and longevity with our desire for the most present and available vices. Our minds do not naturally think critically about what we are doing now, particularly if it provides us with immediate satisfaction, pleasure, or enjoyment. If we are being honest, our world is in a very scary place with the rise and normality of processed foods, prescription drugs, alcoholism, depression, obesity, (the list goes on and on) and it is imperative for us to take care of ourselves: preventive maintenance. It is so damn easy to live in the now and it might even prove contradictory to my first point: being young, BUT if we want to live long and healthy lives we have to be better.
Live without compromising your longevity.